Faith

God has certainly been speaking to my heart, during my time here in Colombia. This past week God has been drilling the following scripture into my head. "...He must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that He will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all His ways." James 1:6-8. On and off again, I have struggled with doubt and anxiety, and God has been really dealing with me in this area. God has showed me that He has big plans for me, but he cannot use me to accomplish big things, if I can't trust in Him for the little things.

I'm kind of stubborn and thick-headed. Many times, when God speaks to me, He will use several different people or several different methods to tell me the same thing, until eventually the truth sinks deep into my heart. That has what has been going on this past week.

It started one night as I was having my nightly devotions, and immediately the scripture gripped my heart. I knew God was speaking to me, so over the next few days I continued to mediate on it. Later in the week, my dad sent me a text telling me that God has been showing Him not to worry about anything. The message God had told him was, "Live in the moment, ever conscious of His presence. Trust in Him." This was further confirmation. Later on that morning we went to church. Granted, it's difficult for me to understand the Pastors, because their Spanish is very fast and not very clear, but God was still able to reach me through the message. The message was at times God tests us. During the tests, he requires two things: obedience and faith. Then Pastor Lorena, quoted that same scripture from James, "But ask in faith without doubting...." At this point, I was certain that God was speaking to me loud and clear.

What spoke to me most though was a conversation I had with Gabriela, the woman who runs Yo Soy el Camino. Gabriela was telling me yesterday her testimony about coming to Christ and how the home got started. 16 years ago, Gabriela received a prophetic word from her Pastor that God was going to give her the little ones. At the time, she didn't know what this meant and assumed God was talking about evangelism and winning souls. Turns out God's plan was much more involved than that. 4 years later Gabriela and her friend started in orphange in a small house with 25 kids. Eventually, God began to show Gabriela that he wanted her to start a Christian children's home, Yo Soy el Camino. Gabriela had many dreams that she was walking around with one bare foot and one black shoe. God showed Gabriela that the black shoe represented the orphanage and that she needed to leave it behind to do what God had called her to do. Later, she had a dream that she was riding down the street in a car with one leg hanging out of the vehicle. The black shoe flew off her foot. In another dream, God showed her the black shoe being carried far away by a river. It was at this point that Gabriela decided to take the necessary steps to start Yo Soy el Camino.

Gabriela shared all of this with her Pastor, who told her that God showed Him that she needed to start the home the very next day. Gabriela already had a house for the children, but she had no food or resources. Gabriela was faithful to do what God had told her, and started the home the next day anyway with four children. Gabriela had faith that God was going to provide for her and the kids, and He did. Shortly after, a woman came along who committed to provide food for the home. She continued to support the home for the next four years. Being here now, I am blown away by how God has provided for the children. The home is supported by two churches in the United States, as well as by many people in the local community here in Colombia. If it had not been for Gabriela's faith many of these children would still be living in the streets today.

Gabriela also received the name "Yo Soy el Camino" in a dream. She saw a long line of children walking along a path. The children were clothed in white, and were heading towards the end of the path, where the sun was setting over a beautiful mountain. In English, the name means I am the Path.

After telling me all of this, Gabriela turned to me and said, "I never doubt. The Bible says that when you ask for things you should never worry, because if you do you are being double-minded and you limit God's hand working in your life." There it was again. That same scripture. Wow. For her, it's that simple. The Bible says not to doubt, so she doesn't. This is the kind of faith I wish to exemplify in my own life. This is the kind of groundbreaking faith that I seek after.

Reflecting on my first week in Colombia

I would like to try to write a blog for each week here at the children's home with the kids. There is so much I wish to share about this experience already! While I am here, I am conducting a VBS for the 18 kids living at the home. The lessons focus on who God is, and who we are in God. This first week focused on following Jesus. The kids learned that we are all in need of the gift of salvation, and that Jesus can be our best friend. It's pretty cool, because the kids already know alot of what I am teaching them. Often they can guess the topic of the lesson, before I even give it, and sometimes they already know the memory verse for the day. It is so good that the kids receive so much spirtual nourishment from the nearby church and the staff at the home.

The kids are all so special. They are all individuals and I am getting to know their different qualities. At times, they can get a little crazy, and they like to watch me do everything. But I love them soooooooo much! It's funny because I have only been here a week and already this feels like home. I'm already having those familiar pangs of sadness at the thought of leaving and going back home. Of course, I will be overjoyed to see my family and friends, but I will be leaving 18 of my kids behind. The thought is heartbreaking.

I am learning alot from Gabriela, the lady that runs the home. She is such an extraordinary women of God! You would have to be to care for 18 children as if they were your own. Gabriela has been with the kids for 12 years. She lives with them, sleeps with them, eats with them. She has watched them grow. She told me that during one season she prayed for eight years just so that the children can have milk and eggs....can you imagine? Now, they have so much of it they find themselves giving it away. She also told me that she has been praying for years for somebody to come and do what I am doing with kids......that just blows my mind. It's so incredibly honoring that God would use me to answer this prayer. That's all for now =)

Fear

Those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear but you received the spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, "Abba, father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Romans 8:14-16

Lately, God has been revealing to me areas where I have fears in my life that are hindering me in my walk with Him. I'm realizing that much of the time fear is not instantly recognizable, and it takes various forms. In a nutshell, fear is any area where I'm not trusting God to take control of my life. It's any place where, if I'm honest, I'm not expecting God to actually move. It's those circumstances, in which I allow nagging worries and doubt to eat away at my confidence in the promises God has made to me. As a daughter of Christ, there is no room for fear and insecurity in my life. If we allow fear to get the best of us, it can limit God from moving in our lives. It can hinder us from our purpose and destiny.

As Christians, we are in a constant state of warfare. The devil is always going to whisper lies in our ears, and attempt to tear down our trust in God. Luckily, God has given us weapons for this battle we are in. One of the greatest weapons God has given us is his word. God's love for us runs deep, and he has made us many many promises in his Word. It is our job to embrace those promises and claim them for ourselves. We need to stand on the authority of God's word.....the truth. As we begin to saturate ourselves in the truth, we will be able to instantly recognize any areas in our lives where the enemy has lied to us. Fear will have no power over us.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

Other references: Psalm 3:5-6, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 27:1, Psalm 27:3, Psalm 34:4, Psalm 91:4-6, Psalm 112:6-8,Proverbs 3:24-26, Proverbs 29:25, Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 54:3-5, 1 John 4:18, 2 Tim 1:7